Love that Hewitt
Okay, so far we have established two things. Lesbians equal ratings and innocence lost equals bigger ratings. I call this phenomenon the "Valmont" syndrome. Quoting Malkovich in Dangerous Liaisons when speaking about his planned seduction of the chaste Michelle Pfeiffer: "I want her to believe in God and marriage and the purity of family and still not be able to help herself." (This may not be the exact quote but you get the idea.)
That philosophy seems to have carried over into the poll as JLH (as Scoopy likes to call her) was a runaway winner. She is just such a good girl who everyone wants to see go bad. I am a little skeptical as to whether we will ever see any flesh from her though. She may be so innocent that nothing will ever convince her to shed the clothing. Silverstone and some others will probably find themselves unemployable a little later in life and, as a result, will have to show some skin. I use Silverstone because the Gist and I have been discussing lately just how bad an actress she really is. If she wasn’t so hot, would she get any parts? I think not. Well, when the girls who wanted to be like her in Clueless grow up and the box office falls, we may be treated to a little skin. Same goes for Katie Holmes, Buffy, Neve, et al.
I believe our good Uncle also once said about JLH that men just seem to love those monster boobs on such a rail thin frame. Well she certainly has those and a lot of you guys obviously want to see them unbound. Actually, I would say that we ALL want to see them but some of us just want to see another actress just a little more.
Wednesday Addams also received ample support. Her second place finish can probably be attributed to her ample assets as well. Anyone see her on SNL? She has either lost a lot of weight or had a visit with her friendly neighborhood plastic surgeon for a reduction procedure because those puppies just aren’t what they used to be. Any of you Ricci fans got a line on what that story is?
How many of you think that "Star Trek: Voyager" would be off the air now if Jeri Ryan hadn’t been cast as "Uber-Babe" Seven of Nine? I say that it would have been gone and forgotten. Whenever I think about the stereotypical Trekker I think of the comic book guy on "The Simpsons". Considering it from his point of view, what in the hell took the producers so long to cast a sexpot in a key role on the show? She got my vote.
I was truly surprised at the lack of support for Cameron Diaz. Maybe those paparazzi pics and posed nudes satisfied your appetite? Gist thought maybe everyone would want to see her moving around in her birthday suit.
Also, Bruce wrote in to tell me that Sandra Bullock has already been nude in a movie. I looked it up in the trusty Encyclopedia and he was right. Scoop said that it was from an unreleased movie so I guess it could stay in the poll anyway. But thanks for the info Bruce.
New poll will likely see a dropoff in support. It is "Best Modern Film Director". I tried to include a variety of directors, male and female, well known and semi-obscure, young and old. If your favorite auteur is not included, let me hear about it and I will eat crow as usual in the follow up article.
All comments and suggestions to lawdogusc@hotmail.com as usual. The polls which generate the most interest are the "t and a" themes so expect to see more of those and I will be glad to take suggestions for the specific themes.
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