They ain't got no alibi

What the hell do I say on a poll like this one? I wouldn't say these people are all ugly necessarily. They are just not representative of the "standard" of beauty that we have been influenced to believe is right. Is that politically correct enough for ya?

I do know one thing. They may be "aesthetically challenged," but just about everyone on this list obviously had the drive, determination, and will to succeed in their profession, Tori Spelling notwithstanding. And, in some ways, I guess they deserve even more credit. My point is this. I am not saying Laetitia Casta didn't work to get where she is, but her face opened a lot more doors than Janet Reno's, if you know what I mean. Faith Hill is another example. She is just gorgeous and can sing like an angel. She didn't have a choice in becoming a rich and famous country star.

Okay, enough defending the ugly people. You guys kill me sometimes. I get noms that literally make me laugh out loud. There were a lot of those on this particular poll. The ones that make me laugh are the noms that are unexpected but that are perfect after I read them.

Ron Jeremy, for example. If his nickname had been "Pee-Wee" in high school, you think he'd be in this poll? Doubtful. But he is and he definitely belongs.

Randy Johnson is another. He is relatively famous as one of the best pitchers in baseball right now but I would likely have never thought of him for this poll. He definitely has a rat face though, as Jim Rome likes to point out. This nom came from a frequent contributor and he always sends in good ones. He also sent in Joe Klecko, who is about as obscure as they come. You da man, Erasmus.

Ross Perot, Clarence Thomas, Leonard Nimoy, the list goes on. Thanks to all the people who send in noms. Which brings me to another point. I get emails all the time saying "I can't believe you left so and so out of the current poll." Here's a tip for everyone. If you want someone included, no matter how obvious they are, send them to me. There have been many times when I forget ABSOLUTELY OBVIOUS choices. Hell, I think Scoop added Emily Watson to the actress poll AFTER I loaded it, and she won the damn thing! I guess what I am saying is, never overestimate the memory of me or fellow pollsters. I don't mind getting repeat noms. That just gives me a pre-poll idea of who might win.

So, enough with ugly people, stay tuned for hottest porn star commentary and the new poll, which asks "Which male celebrity would you most like to slug in the mouth?"

Poll Topic: Celebrity whose face caused the doctor to smack it the hardest
Sandra Bernhard	15.1% - (100 Votes)
Janet Reno	14.5% - (96 Votes)
Tori Spelling	8.6% - (57 Votes)
Barbara Streisand	8.3% - (55 Votes)
Rosie O'Donnell	7.1% - (47 Votes)
Keith Richards	6.3% - (42 Votes)
Dennis Rodman	5.4% - (36 Votes)
Camilla Parker Bowles	4.7% - (31 Votes)
Roseanne	3.3% - (22 Votes)
Madeline Albright	2.8% - (19 Votes)
Mick Jagger	2.5% - (17 Votes)
Howard Stern	2.2% - (15 Votes)
Steve Buscemi	2.2% - (15 Votes)
Marty Feldman	1.9% - (13 Votes)
Ron Jeremy	1.6% - (11 Votes)
Steven Tyler	1.3% - (9 Votes)
Randy Johnson	1.3% - (9 Votes)
Abe Vigoda	1.3% - (9 Votes)
Patrick Ewing	1.2% - (8 Votes)
Bella Abzug	1.2% - (8 Votes)
Larry Bird	0.7% - (5 Votes)
Liza Minelli	0.7% - (5 Votes)
Margaret Thatcher	0.7% - (5 Votes)
Jay Leno	0.7% - (5 Votes)
Ron Perlman	0.6% - (4 Votes)
Carly Simon	0.4% - (3 Votes)
Karen Black	0.3% - (2 Votes)
Ross Perot	0.3% - (2 Votes)
Jason Biggs	0.3% - (2 Votes)
Kim McGuire	0.1% - (1 Votes)
Suzy Amis	0.1% - (1 Votes)
Leonard Nimoy	0.1% - (1 Votes)
Joe Klecko	0.1% - (1 Votes)
Ron Wood	0.1% - (1 Votes)
Clarence Thomas	0.1% - (1 Votes)
Sissy Spacek	0.1% - (1 Votes)
Monica Seles	0% - (0 Votes)
John Turturro	0% - (0 Votes)
Gene Hackman	0% - (0 Votes)
Randy 'Macho Man' Savage	0% - (0 Votes)
Richard Kiel	0% - (0 Votes)
Charlie Watts	0% - (0 Votes)
Total Votes: 659