The Big (toddlin’) Easy

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the brightest bulb in the box.  I wasn’t really sure how to approach this particular poll – so, I did what people of my, er, brainpower do when confronted with a puzzle: I looked up ‘toddling’ in the dictionary.   This is the definition according to Webster’s 10th Collegiate:

Main Entry: tod·dle

Pronunciation: 'tä-d&l

Function: intransitive verb

Inflected Form(s): tod·dled; tod·dling /'täd-li[ng], 'tä-d&l-i[ng]/

Etymology: origin unknown

Date: circa 1600

1 : to walk with short tottering steps in the manner of a young child

2 : to take a stroll : SAUNTER

- toddle noun

So maybe these are great towns to walk with short tottering steps through.  I used to live in New York, and can say with authority that that is the method most people use when strolling or sauntering on the sidewalks of that city.

I should also say at the outset that I have been to exactly three of the cities on this list: Indianapolis, Chicago and New York.  I’ve never been to Fond du Lac, but I’ve been to Appleton and thereabouts – no offense to the home state of the great Pack, but the Appleton airport was not exactly toddling.  Flat, certainly.  But toddling?  I actually dug it in a half nostalgia-laden, half-Fargo sort of way, though, and the people were just very very friendly, helpful and welcoming.  Let’s see – I went to fonddulac.com, and it appears that this weekend is the National Walleye Tournament; there are a couple of concerts in Buttermilk Park next week; the Ripon Jazz Festival is 18 miles away in downtown Ripon next weekend; and there’s car racing in Elkhart the week following.   Hmmm.

I’ve always wanted to see New Orleans – I’ve heard that it’s great, there’s music everywhere, and, if you time it right, tits everywhere too.  Same with Rio and Austin – a woman I used to work for did SxSW, and loved it.  She later went to Dublin and fell in love with Ireland.  I’ve heard that Ireland tends to have that effect on people.  I have a friend who’s a native of Copenhagen, who’s moved back there now, and from what he told me, that’s very definitely a place I’d like to visit, especially if my wife is home sick at the time.  And sue me, I love Canada.  I’d be willing to bet that Saskatoon and Yellowknife are great.  I’ve been through Nova Scotia, and Ontario provinces – and if I ever get finally disgusted and appalled enough, I’ll feel perfectly happy emigrating up there.  Or going to grad school.  Maybe both.

Here are some random, largely uninformed thoughts about toddliness and these towns:

• I’m surprised that San Francisco didn’t place higher on this list.  From what I understand, it’s a town that has a tendency to toddle on its own from time to time.
• I will consider my life complete if I am able to do two things:
• • Never, ever go to jail, except to visit friends and family
  • Never, ever visit Las Vegas
• I’ve heard that Spain is a terrific place to go visit, beautiful country, great food, plus it’s less expensive than Italy and less insulting than France.
• It strikes me that half of the towns on this list have thriving, er…temporary interpersonal relationship trades.  These towns, especially Bangkok from what I hear, has a generous amount of toddling going in, ah, a mainly horizontal direction.
• I’m really looking forward to seeing the former Eastern Bloc countries, represented here by Hungary.  I was in the former East Germany last year, and even though the wall collapsed over 10 years ago, it retains much of its former unique, ah, charm.  In the town I was playing in, many of the buildings were still painted in the range of human waste colors so typical of the former Soviet empire – the three-day-old dishwater gray, the baby-had-too-many-strained-carrots yellow.  The most colorful thing I saw in that town was the Honda dealership, which was festooned with balloons and banners of bright colors.  It hurt my eyes to look at, compared to its surroundings.  Anyhow – East Germany was a fairly rigid, conservative state.  Hungary, however, was not.  Like the former Czechoslovakia, there was greater autonomy within the confines of the Soviet orbit.  I’d be willing to bet there’s a lot more color in Budapest than in the town I was in.  And I’m sure the people are lovely.  They were in East Germany, despite their surroundings.
• I love New York.
• Chicago’s Museum of Science and Industry is the coolest museum of that type I’ve ever seen.  It has cars, a coalmine in the lobby, and a real WWII U-boat you can walk through.  I heard, on my way to Appleton Wisconsin actually, that they had installed a 747 as an exhibit.  It’s amazing.
• Baghdad?  BAGHDAD?
• I understand that Beirut was a jewel.  But that was before the Israelis, the Druse, the Shi’ia, the Sunni, the PLO, the Syrians, and all the advisers thereto completely bombed the shit out of it.  PJ O’Rourke wrote an amazing piece for a travel magazine about traveling through Lebanon that I highly recommend.  In the name of humanity, I hope that’s all changed.  Knowing that region of the world and its volatility, I doubt it, though.
• I guess that since the handover, Hong Kong, which I expected to be near the top of this list and didn’t even make it on, toddles a lot less.
• I have family that lives in Dublin, and from what I hear, folks in Dublin don’t toddle so much as do figure eights.  I’m looking forward to my visit there.

So here’re the results – if any of you have travel tips to share, or insults to hurl my way, feel free.

Flatcat

Comments and suggestions to lawdogusc@hotmail.com.

Poll Topic: Most Toddlin' Town
New Orleans, Louisiana	14.1% - (59 Votes)
Las Vegas, Nevada	13.2% - (55 Votes)
Chicago, Illinois	9.3% - (39 Votes)
New York, New York	9.1% - (38 Votes)
Fond du Lac, Wisconsin	7.9% - (33 Votes)
Austin, Texas	4.8% - (20 Votes)
Dublin, Ireland	4.3% - (18 Votes)
San Francisco, California	4% - (17 Votes)
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan	3.6% - (15 Votes)
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil	3.3% - (14 Votes)
Copenhagen, Denmark	2.8% - (12 Votes)
Los Angeles, California	2.8% - (12 Votes)
Yellowknife, Northwest Territories	2.6% - (11 Votes)
Barcelona, Spain	2.4% - (10 Votes)
Paris, France	2.4% - (10 Votes)
St. Louis, Missouri	1.9% - (8 Votes)
Jonkoping, Sweden	1.6% - (7 Votes)
Tampa, Florida	1.6% - (7 Votes)
Bangkok, Thailand	1.6% - (7 Votes)
Indianapolis, Indiana	1.6% - (7 Votes)
Sioux Falls, South Dakota	1.4% - (6 Votes)
Baghdad, Iraq	1.4% - (6 Votes)
Beirut, Lebanon	0.7% - (3 Votes)
Savannah, Georgia	0.2% - (1 Votes)
Budapest, Hungary	0.2% - (1 Votes)
Total Votes: 416