Heather's Nether

I guess it should come as no surprise that she won this poll since her name rhymes with the very region which was the subject. I remember writing a letter to Scoop a few years ago when Boogie Nights was coming out in theaters to find out how long it would be before pics from the movie were in the Fun House. I think that was back when Sing was a frequent contributor and capped new releases for the Uncle very soon after their release. I had lusted after Heather Graham for a long time before that and when I heard that she was going to be naked in Boogie Nights, I was, to state it mildly, pleased.

I was a little disappointed when I saw the movie though. I mean, here is a movie about the freaking porn industry and we get a two second shot. Granted, it was the full monty, but come on! I guess I actually expected it to BE a porno movie. If you have read my previous columns, you know I don't like Heather Graham so much anymore. Her performances leave a lot to be desired and she doesn't get naked anymore so...

Does anyone else remember when Kari Wuhrer used to be on MTV's "Remote Control"? I think that was her but I'm not sure. Anyone got a line on that?

I don't really have a lot to say on this subject. I mean a pubis is a pubis you know? This is just a good excuse to run some nudie pics of your favorite actresses. I only have one question when it comes to the area south of the border. When was it no longer accepted for women to have a natural spread? Did anyone see those Dr. Laura pics? She had a regular Chia pet going down there. Now suddenly, even if you happened to find some celebrity bootleg type pics, chances are they would be as groomed as your average french poodle. One of you readers let me know on that one.

This poll was probably even more along the lines of voting for your choice for hottest actress rather than for that particular body part. I thought this poll would be a case of "you seen one, you seen 'em all". Had that been the case, the only sane choice for the winner would have been my vote, Julianne Moore. I actually read a good story about her on this subject. Robert Altman was trying to cast what would eventually become her role in the movie Short Cuts and he kept running into the same problem with all the actresses he would interview for the role. None of them were willing to do the extended bottomless that the one scene in the movie required. Speaking of that scene, art my ass, Altman just wanted to see a young actress without her panties. Anyone who says differently is full of shit. Anyway, he called her and told her about the bottomless scene and asked her if she had any problem with it. Not only did she tell him that she would do it, she also said "Bob, I have a treat for you. I'm a real redhead." Gotta love that. The rarest of jewels.

I included the top ten votegetters from this poll. Click the names below to see what most pollsters thought was the best.

Enough of my rambling. Let me tell you about the new poll and then onto the pics. We have a new consultant for the polls. His name is Flatcat. He can be reached via email at flatcat90@hotmail.com. Send him your gripes about who was left out of this poll because it is his baby. He will likely be a frequent contributor to the polls and the columns. If you like my articles, I believe you will like his also as we seem to have a similar writing style.

Comments and suggestions to lawdogusc@hotmail.com. Keep those emails coming. Just because the schedule's changed doesn't mean I don't want more suggestions.

Poll Topic: Best Pubis in Hollywood
Heather Graham	11.9% - (136 Votes)
Kari Wuhrer	11.2% - (128 Votes)
Elle MacPherson	9.2% - (105 Votes)
Ashley Judd	8.6% - (99 Votes)
Julianne Moore	7.2% - (83 Votes)
Charlize Theron	7.1% - (82 Votes)
Nicole Kidman	7% - (81 Votes)
Kate Winslet	4.9% - (57 Votes)
Sharon Stone	4.9% - (56 Votes)
Kim Basinger	3.8% - (44 Votes)
Deborah Kara Unger	3.5% - (40 Votes)
Portia DeRossi	2.7% - (31 Votes)
Tara Fitzgerald	2.6% - (30 Votes)
Ellen Barkin	2.3% - (27 Votes)
Lea Thompson	2.2% - (26 Votes)
Mathilda May	2.2% - (26 Votes)
Gwyneth Paltrow	2.1% - (24 Votes)
Madonna	1.9% - (22 Votes)
Kelly LeBrock	1.6% - (19 Votes)
Kristin Scott Thomas	1.4% - (17 Votes)
Juliette Binoche	0.7% - (8 Votes)
Total Votes: 1141