| Poll
Topic: Best Homer Simpson Quote |
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| 'D'oh!' |  23.9% - (164 Votes) |
| 'Okay, brain. You don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's get through this thing and then I can continue killing you with beer.' | 9.7% - (67 Votes) |
| 'To alcohol... the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems' | 7% - (48 Votes) |
| 'I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals fa-laaaaming.' | 5.5% - (38 Votes) |
| 'Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.' | 4.9% - (34 Votes) |
| 'A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. They're big, they're about 400 pounds.....they make ice. No wait, a woman is a lot like a beer. They smell good, they look good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one. But you can't stop at one, you have to drink another woman.' | 4.9% - (34 Votes) |
| 'Homer no function beer well without.' | 3.2% - (22 Votes) |
| '(Sung to the tune of the Flintstones) Simpson, Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in history. From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree.' | 2.9% - (20 Votes) |
| 'Trying is the first step to failure.' | 2.9% - (20 Votes) |
| 'Just because I don't CARE doesn't mean I don't understand.' | 2.9% - (20 Votes) |
| 'This country was built on immigrants. We need them. Without them, who would train our tigers and kick our extra points?' | 2.7% - (19 Votes) |
| 'Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.' | 2.4% - (17 Votes) |
| 'Stealing! How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at Church? That Captain Whatizname? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to see those Police academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear nobody laughin', did you?' | 2.1% - (15 Votes) |
| 'I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down. ' | 1.9% - (13 Votes) |
| 'Lisa, if the bible has taught us nothing else - and it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, like hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing.' | 1.9% - (13 Votes) |
| 'Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try again.' | 1.9% - (13 Votes) |
| 'No TV and no Beer make Homer something something' | 1.9% - (13 Votes) |
| 'Hello, operator, give me the number for 911!' | 1.6% - (11 Votes) |
| 'I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, evil stuff. And I want in.' | 1.6% - (11 Votes) |
| 'If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your short wave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle, and we'll go inside and watch some TV.' | 1.6% - (11 Votes) |
| 'Don't let Krusty's death get to you, son. People die all the time. Just like that. Why, you could easily wake up dead tomorrow. Well, good night....' | 1.6% - (11 Votes) |
| 'Colonel Klink, why have you forsaken me?' | 1.4% - (10 Votes) |
| 'The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!' | 1.4% - (10 Votes) |
| 'Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.' | 1.3% - (9 Votes) |
| 'Oh my god. Space Aliens. Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids. Eat them.' | 1% - (7 Votes) |
| 'When will you Australians learn? In America we stopped using corporal punishment, and things have never been better. The streets are safe. Old people strut confidently through even the darkest alleys. And the weak and nerdy are admired for their computer programming abilities.' | 0.8% - (6 Votes) |
| 'Why dont those stupid idiots let me in their crappy club for jerks?' | 0.8% - (6 Votes) |
| 'Now, son, you don't want to drink beer, That's for daddies. And kids with fake I.D.'s.' | 0.5% - (4 Votes) |
| 'Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.' | 0.5% - (4 Votes) |
| 'Marge, your being a cop makes you the man. Which makes me the woman. And I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear which, as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.' | 0.5% - (4 Votes) |
| 'Now kids, kids, kids. As far as Daddy's concerned, you're both potential murderers.' | 0.5% - (4 Votes) |
| 'I suppose you want to probe me. Well, you might as well get it over with.' | 0.2% - (2 Votes) |
| 'Always remember that you're representing your country. I guess what I'm saying is - don't mess up France the way you messed up your room.' | 0.2% - (2 Votes) |
| 'Look, all I'm saying is, if these big stars didn't want people going through their garbage and saying they're gay, then they shouldn't have tried to express themselves creatively.' | 0.1% - (1 Votes) |
| 'It's OK, Marge, I've learned my lesson. A mountain of sugar is too much for me. It's clear now why God portions it out in those tiny packets.' | 0.1% - (1 Votes) |
| 'Look, jus' gimme some inner peace, or I'll mop the floor with ya!' | 0% - (0 Votes) |
| 'It all happened during that magical summer of 1985. A maturing Joe Piscopo left SNL to conquer Hollywood, and People Express introduced a generation of hicks to plane travel ...' | 0% - (0 Votes) |
Total Votes: 684 |
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