What would Brian Boitano do?
The camera slowly pans over a rustic, snow covered small town.
The music fades in and the lyrics come: "There's a bunch of
birds in the sky / And some deers just went running by/ Oh the
sun's clear and bright on the earth rich and brown / Just another
Sunday morning in my quiet mountain town." I know, sounds
like your good old fashioned sweet opening to a Disney movie.
Except that those "deers" that "just went running
by" happened to piss in the pure white snow and the
character unknowingly scooped up that chunk and ate it. Welcome
to South Park.
I guess I should have known this wasn't going to be your
average animated movie just by the title. If you haven't thought
about it, you should. I cannot tell you how much I love this
movie. I bought the DVD and have watched it WAY too many times. I
just marvel at the genius of the songs and how they could EASILY
be in any Disney movie with just a few subtle lyric changes. Okay
maybe not subtle, but Trey Parker did an outstanding job on the
music. I liked it so much, I bought the soundtrack on CD. The
Gist has that CD right now and he likes it so much I am not sure
if I will get it back without a fight.
I loved the way they thumbed their nose at the MPAA. The whole
movie is based on the United States declaring war on Canada
because "Terance and Phillip", two Canadian actors,
have starred in a movie which contained an unbelievable amount of
profanity, causing the kids to imitate it and start cursing
everyone and everything. I quote Sheila Broflowski, founder of
MAC (Mothers against Canadians), "Just remember what the
MPAA says, deplorable, horrific violence is okay, as long as
there are no naughty words." Well the South Park guys sure
did their jobs in earning the R rating. Some of the more creative
word combinations in the movie are "donkey-raping shiteater",
"ass-ramming uncle fucker", and "testicle shitting
rectal wart".
Clearly this movie is not for everyone and if profanity
offends you, then it's DEFINITELY not for you. I voted for it
because I thought it was one of the funniest movies I have ever
seen, live or animated. They are equal opportunity offenders,
plus where else can you see a 20 ft clitoris? Okay you can
probably see that at many places on the internet, but my point is
these guys had the nerve to do that clitoris thing, shoot Bill
Gates in the head, and make Saddam Hussein the gay lover of
Satan, all in a "mainstream" movie.. Speaking of Satan,
he is the most sympathetic character in the movie which is itself
hilarious. And if you haven't noticed, his abdominal muscles are
in the shape of an erect penis.
I think maybe the funniest thing is that "Blame Canada"
is now nominated for an Academy Award for Best Song. I personally
feel that "What Would Brian Boitano Do?" or "La
Resistance (Medley)" would have been a better choice. A
sample from "La Resistance (Medley)", after virtually
all the other characters have sung their signature song: "(Eric,
Kyle, and Stan): Why did our mothers start this war?/ What the
fuck are they fighting for?/ When did this song become a
marathon? (Sheila): When Canada is dead and gone/ There'll be no
more Celine Dion!/ (Gregory): They'll cut your dick in half/ And
serve it to a pig/ But then you'll smile and laugh/ And dance a
dickless jig./ For that's the way it goes/ In war you're shat
upon./ Though you die, La Resistance lives on." Can you see
someone singing those lyrics at the Dorothy Chandler Pavillion?
Neither can I, but I would love to see it.
"Toy Story" finished second and I remember being
astounded when I first saw it in the theatre. The animation in
"Toy Story", unlike "South Park" which is
probably the worst animation ever on the big screen, was
unbelievable. Plus it had a really great story about friendship
and its hardships. Its sequel finished in fourth and I personally
felt it was a better movie. The theme seemed to me to be "Is
it better to be admired in a museum and live forever or to bring
joy to a child for only a finite time?" I thought it was
handled very well and that the sequel surpassed the original,
both technically and artistically.
I used to think that "Beauty and the Beast" was
Disney's best animated film of the 90's but I now have shifted to
"The Lion King". When I saw that opening sequence,
"Circle of Life", in the theatre, it floored me. I
turned to my wife (girlfriend at the time) and said "Okay,
are you ready to go? I just got my money's worth." If you
haven't seen it, it's worth checking out just for that opening
sequence. But it made like 400 kajillion dollars so there are
probably not many of you who haven't seen it.
Okay enough kids' stuff. Let's get back to some action. New
poll: Who currently has the best legs in the world? I didn't get
very many noms on this one so to those of you who did send them
in, thanks a lot. What about the rest of you who used to send me
nominations? Where the hell have you gone? Is the honeymoon over?
The Monday poll will be the Cinema Battle Royale. I am going
to take the top finishers from all the movie polls and group them
together to determine the best movie of the 90's.
Comments and suggestions to lawdogusc@hotmail.com. I
would like some suggestions for future polls. In what do you all
have the most interest?
Poll
Topic: Best 90's Animated Movie
|
| South
Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut |
 24.3% - (135 Votes) |
| Toy
Story |
18.9% - (105 Votes) |
| The
Lion King |
10.2% - (57 Votes) |
| Toy
Story 2 |
7.7% - (43 Votes) |
| Beauty
and the Beast |
7.2% - (40 Votes) |
| The
Iron Giant |
5.4% - (30 Votes) |
| Princess
Mononoke (Japanese) |
3.9% - (22 Votes) |
| A
Bug's Life |
3.6% - (20 Votes) |
| Aladdin |
3.4% - (19 Votes) |
| Ninja
Scroll (Japanese) |
2.8% - (16 Votes) |
| The
Prince of Egypt |
2.5% - (14 Votes) |
| Antz |
2.1% - (12 Votes) |
| Record
of Lodoss War (Japanese) |
1.9% - (11 Votes) |
| Mulan |
1.2% - (7 Votes) |
| Tarzan |
1% - (6 Votes) |
| Anastasia |
0.9% - (5 Votes) |
| Kiki's
Delivery Service (Japanese) |
0.5% - (3 Votes) |
| My
Neighbor Totoro (Japanese) |
0.3% - (2 Votes) |
| Thumbelina |
0.3% - (2 Votes) |
| The
Hunchback of Notre Dame |
0.3% - (2 Votes) |
| Hercules |
0.1% - (1 Votes) |
| Pocahontas |
0.1% - (1 Votes) |
| Quest
for Camelot |
0.1% - (1 Votes) |
| The
Pebble and the Penguin |
0% - (0 Votes) |
Total Votes: 554 |