They couldn't get no satisfaction

I use that title because these guys could have been the Rolling Stones of my generation. Scoop said the other day that Doc Gooden's potential was destroyed by cocaine. This band was killed, appropriately enough, by "Mr. Brownstone" as well as "Civil War", two of their best songs. The brownstone was the heroin they couldn't kick and the civil war was the clash of egos in the band. A friend of mine said that Axl has about 70 new songs recorded but can't get a band together to tour because nobody wants to play with him.

I remember when Appetite for Destruction was released. I was in eleventh grade. A friend of mine had it and played it for me. They were what all those other bands pretended to be. Anarchists who could care less if anyone listened to their music. The perfect magnet for the middle class teenage kid. Slash was scary as hell in that tophat and squinty look. They were all about the drugs, sex, and rock n'roll. It was perfect. Not only did the music rock, Axl's lyrics actually had something to say. Something got lost in the success though and that's a shame. The Use Your Illusion discs were good but not on a par with Appetite. They turned into an average band and disintegrated to their current state, which includes only Axl.

Halen is not really a hair band but it's hard rock so I threw them in there also. Eddie Van Halen really deserves the title of Guitar God. He does stuff no one else does. I heard that when he recorded the famous guitar solo for Michael Jackson's "Beat It", he came to the record studio and had them play the song for him twice. He then told them to roll tape and laid down that wicked ass solo. When he finished the SINGLE TAKE, he turned to ask them how they liked it and they all were sitting there with their mouths open. I don't know if that's true but I wouldn't be surprised. Eddie seems to let his ego get in his way though. How he could let Hagar go is beyond me. He was the perfect frontman for that band. Eddie thought that the fans would accept whoever he brought in next because it had worked when Roth left. Guess what? Everyone hated Gary Cherone and he might have killed Van Halen. I heard a rumor that David Coverdale of Whitesnake fame was next in line to front Van Halen. That might work better than Cherone but it still won't be as good as Sammy.

Def Leppard just gets it. They make the music that everyone wants to hear. They don't make any pretenses about their music changing the world. They just play bubblegum metal and have a hell of a lot of fun doing it. I don't have a problem with that. I only have a problem when something is cheesy and the people producing it aren't in on the joke. Leppard is on the joke and laughing all the way to the bank.

Jon Bon Jovi is almost Madonna's equal in a marketing sense. He switched to Adult Contemporary when his fans from the eighties grew up instead of trying to appeal to a new generation. He dabbled in acting and he isn't that bad at it. He was really good in that Ed Burns movie, the name of which escapes me at the moment. I respect that he is doing those little independent type films too. He could have said "I'm Jon Bon Jovi and I want to be an action star." I am glad he didn't because he could end up being pretty good at this movie thing.

Speaking of movie stars, Tommy Lee and Vince Neil's band rounded out the top five. Never was a big fan of theirs. I was surprised that Queensryche and Skid Row received little support. They were two of the better ones in my opinion. I think Slave to the Grind by Skid Row is the best album to come out of that era. And Queensryche should get support for having the balls to do a concept album, which they did with Operation: Mindcrime.

The next poll will be the second part of the Breasts survey. These ladies are all B-cup or less. The Gist and I realize that some of them are close to a C, but we think we got them all right. Again, she has to have shown them, either in a movie or in print.

Poll Topic: Best 80's Hair Band
Guns N' Roses	25% - (85 Votes)
Van Halen	22.9% - (78 Votes)
Def Leppard	11.1% - (38 Votes)
Bon Jovi	8.8% - (30 Votes)
Motley Crue	8.2% - (28 Votes)
Poison	6.1% - (21 Votes)
Whitesnake	3.5% - (12 Votes)
Queensryche	3.2% - (11 Votes)
Ratt	2% - (7 Votes)
Skid Row	1.7% - (6 Votes)
Tesla	1.4% - (5 Votes)
Warrant	1.4% - (5 Votes)
Dokken	1.1% - (4 Votes)
Winger	0.8% - (3 Votes)
Cinderella	0.8% - (3 Votes)
Quiet Riot	0.5% - (2 Votes)
Great White	0.2% - (1 Votes)
Extreme	0.2% - (1 Votes)
Slaughter	0% - (0 Votes)
Trixter	0% - (0 Votes)
Total Votes: 340