Picture yourself on a starship in space
And
then picture yourself jumping into the frigid vacuum of outer
space so that you don't have to listen to Kirk mangle "Lucy
in the Sky with Diamonds" ever again. I was talking to
Scoopy Jr. when I was taking noms for this poll and he agreed
with me that the "Priceline" commercials are pretty
funny. I especially like the one where he is "rapping."
"When you want low airfare, you know what to do dawg! Bust a
move!" That is comedy.
I
agree with Jr. that Bill was trying to sing "Lucy." He
said that Bill has claimed it was an "interpretive narration."
Yeah, right. Like Carl Lewis singing the national anthem a few
years back was "interpretive narration." Jr. says
Lennon spins in his grave every time someone downloads Kirk's
rendition and I would have to agree. Plasticine porters indeed.
I
have never heard Hasselhoff but surely that guy can sing, right?
I mean, wasn't he like the most popular singer in Germany at one
time? It may not have been Germany, but he was really popular
somewhere in Europe. Someone give me a line on how I can hear it.
Can I download something of his somewhere? Is it good for a
laugh?
Roseanne
ain't exactly Whitney Houston. I may have written about this
before, but Whitney's rendition of "The Star Spangled Banner"
at the Super Bowl was the best ever. I was telling the wife the
other day that they should just play that version at every
athletic event because no one can top it. She had the whole
imminent Gulf War as a backdrop, but I can tell you I've never
felt so patriotic as I did then.
Getting
back to Roseanne, what the hell was she thinking? I'll tell you
what she was thinking. She, like most celebrities, believes that
any press is good press. Keeping your name in the papers, for
whatever reason, keeps you in the mind of the paying demographic,
you know?
Eddie.
"Party all the time." A collaboration with Rick James,
if I recall. It was okay for pop drivel. I am not sure he
deserves fourth place, but who am I to argue?
What
the hell did Dirty Harry sing? Is there anything that guy can't
do? Oh yeah, maybe he can't sing.
Nimoy
I have never heard. But maybe the rule of thumb should be "If
you have ever been on Star Trek, you shouldn't try to sing."
Sonny
Crockett should have stuck to listening to cool tunes on "Miami
Vice" instead of trying to make one, I guess. An aside here.
Has there ever been a cooler show than "Miami Vice?"
Man! In ninth grade, that show was the best! I even bought some
crocodile sandals to wear to school.
How
does Babs qualify? Which one did she do first? Sing or act? I am
a fan of neither her singing or acting, so I guess she can fit
both ways in my opinion. Send me all your hate mail, Babs fans.
The
highest placing true singer who shouldn't have acted, I guess,
would have to be Madonna. She hasn't been terrible in the things
in which I have seen her, but she finished in front on Worst
Singer/Actor crossover. Which brings me to a point I found
interesting. It seems that we are much more tolerant of singers
who try to act than vice versa. For some reason, we just deal
with the singer's occassional foray onto the silver screen, but
we are quick to laugh at a thespian crooner. Maybe it's because a
singer who is acting is supported normally by pros on the screen,
while an actor only has the microphone as support. Okay maybe
sometimes some slick production helps as well, but all the mixing
boards in the world aren't going to help Lee Marvin.
Alanis
Morissette made her debut in the wonderful Kevin Smith movie
"Dogma." She was pretty bad, and she didn't even have
to speak!! God knows what it would have been like otherwise.
One
last thought. The sexpot secretary I work with echoed the
comments of the reader who nominated Kristofferson. He may be a
Rhodes scholar, but he should have never tried either craft. He
is the one nominee who qualifies for both sides, actor who should
never have sung or singer who should never have acted.
Comments
and suggestions to lawdogusc@hotmail.com.
Poll
Topic: Worst Actor/Singer Crossover
|
| William
Shatner |
 35.2% - (209 Votes) |
| David
Hasselhoff |
9.1% - (54 Votes) |
| Roseanne |
7.7% - (46 Votes) |
| Eddie
Murphy |
5.2% - (31 Votes) |
| Clint
Eastwood |
4.7% - (28 Votes) |
| Leonard
Nimoy |
4.3% - (26 Votes) |
| Don
Johnson |
3.7% - (22 Votes) |
| Barbara
Streisand |
3.7% - (22 Votes) |
| Bruce
Willis |
3.2% - (19 Votes) |
| Jennifer
Lopez |
2.3% - (14 Votes) |
| Jennifer
Love Hewitt |
1.8% - (11 Votes) |
| Madonna |
1.8% - (11 Votes) |
| Patrick
Swayze |
1.5% - (9 Votes) |
| Burt
Ward |
1.3% - (8 Votes) |
| Prince |
1.3% - (8 Votes) |
| Glen
Campbell |
1.3% - (8 Votes) |
| Bob
Dylan |
1.1% - (7 Votes) |
| Kris
Kristofferson |
1% - (6 Votes) |
| Lee
Marvin |
1% - (6 Votes) |
| Cybill
Shepherd |
1% - (6 Votes) |
| John
Travolta |
1% - (6 Votes) |
| Lyle
Lovett |
0.8% - (5 Votes) |
| David
Soul |
0.6% - (4 Votes) |
| Alanis
Morrisette |
0.6% - (4 Votes) |
| Luciano
Pavarotti |
0.6% - (4 Votes) |
| Kenny
Rogers |
0.5% - (3 Votes) |
| Liza
Minelli |
0.5% - (3 Votes) |
| Richard
Harris |
0.5% - (3 Votes) |
| David
Bowie |
0.3% - (2 Votes) |
| Bette
Midler |
0.3% - (2 Votes) |
| Tab
Hunter |
0.3% - (2 Votes) |
| Phil
Collins |
0.1% - (1 Votes) |
| Rick
Springfield |
0.1% - (1 Votes) |
| Dolly
Parton |
0.1% - (1 Votes) |
| Mario
Lanza |
0.1% - (1 Votes) |
| Jack
Wagner |
0% - (0 Votes) |
| Olivia
Newton-John |
0% - (0 Votes) |
| Sting |
0% - (0 Votes) |
| John
Mellencamp |
0% - (0 Votes) |
| Bette
Davis |
0% - (0 Votes) |
Total Votes: 593
|