Hail to the Douchebag?
Although I was surprised that Big Al won this poll, I still,
after this poll, nevertheless, no matter, regardless, without
question, would rather have the world's second biggest douchebag
occupying Pennsylvania Avenue instead of Little Bush. Is it just
me or can you just see him saying "Daddy, can I be
President? Boy that would be swell!"
Big Al is okay I guess. I used to be a dyed in the wool
liberal. I thought everything on the left was the way it should
be and if everyone would just love each other then everything
would be okay. I have since moved more toward the middle, much to
the chagrin of some of my more liberal friends. But I now
consider myself a compassionate realist. I think I would have
voted for McCain in the general election had he won the
nomination, but now I have to vote for Big Al. If you are a
faithful reader of the Fun House, you have seen the collection
Scoop has of the famous Dan Quayle quotes. He's right, no one
could be so stupid as Quayle, but Bush has not impressed me one
little bit. I was talking with an attorney at the firm for which
I am working this summer and he brought up an excellent point.
Why is Al Gore trying so desperately to distance himself from
Clinton? Shouldn't he be hammering the fact that the economy is
better than it has been in forever and that we have a balanced
budget? Carry Tipper on your arm to show that you won't get a
hummer from an intern in the hallway but otherwise ride the
coattails. Maybe those spin doctors will change that strategy. To
me, it seems the wrong choice and may cost him the election.
I have to thank a reader who suggested O.J. Simpson as an
addition. I couldn't believe I left him out so I added him after
the poll had been running for a day. I'm not sure he would have
overtaken Al anyway, so no harm done. But to have a one day
handicap and still finish second indicates to me that a lot of
you out there obviously think that our Justice system may have
dropped the ball when handing off to the Juice. I mean, who in
their right mind could think otherwise? Fuhrman was a small
minded racist idiot, but do you really think that fact should
allow a double murderer to walk free? Maybe if they could have
shown some proof that he planted evidence or tampered with the
investigation in some way, but come on. I don't think we have to
worry about O.J. repeating the crime, but it just shows how
dollar signs can tilt the scales of justice to one side. Of
course, I am going to change all of that when I become a lawyer.
Hey stop laughing so loud, your boss is gonna hear you!!
Limbaugh. What can I say? Back in my more liberal days, I
would fume at his pomp and circumstance but now I just laugh at
him and realize he is just playing a role. He is the embodiment
of what is wrong with American politics. The bipartisanship that
exists in government now is so ridiculous you have to laugh or
you just may cry. I actually read a headline recently that
featured a soundbite from the man who had just been elected
Chairman of my state's Republican party. His first words in the
acceptance speech were "My main priority is to stomp the
Democrats." What the hell is that? Shouldn't we worry more
about figuring out the most reasonable solution to our problems
rather than trying to toe the party line? It's sick and Limbaugh
plays on it every day to his listeners. According to Limbaugh, no
matter what stupid things Republicans say, they have either been
misquoted by the Liberal media or else it was misunderstood. If a
Democrat says something reasonable, it either doesn't get
mentioned or Limbaugh tells you what they really meant.
It's a terrible game they are playing and the country is the only
loser.
I just realized after rereading that paragraph that I am
getting a little preachy here. Sorry about that. I think the
election year makes me start to think about politics and the
crazy games they play. I am just like the rest of the country. I
depend on some big event to get me to think about the issues that
should be my focus every day. Anyway, enough with the preachiness.
Everyone on this list deserved to be there in my opinion. Not
all of them deserved to win, but I can see how one would think
that each one was a douchebag. Helms is an "old-school"
douchebag. Arquette is married to Courtney Cox so he qualifies
for that very reason. Man, did you guys see the "Friends"
season finale last Thursday? Courtney was smoking hot.
Lars Ulrich of Metallica needs to take a pill. I can
understand their reasoning but it's just like the guy said who
nominated him, "I vote for Lars Ulrich of Metallica who
"snitched" on ++300,000 Metallica fans over the Napster/MP3
deal!!! Those are the same fans who made Lars/Metallica rich and
famous!!!!! What a douchebag!!!" Leo's little girlfriends
are growing up and he may find the box office a little cold in
the future. Should have taken a few of those 25 million dollar
paychecks while you could Leo.
The new rules that Bobby Knight has to follow, those of the
"zero tolerance" policy at Indiana University, are a
joke. Zero tolerance will mean about 50 percent tolerance. He
will do something wacky by their third game this season and I
guarantee that Indiana won't have the guts to can him. Let's put
it this way. If I had a son who had on offer to play basketball
at Indiana, I wouldn't let him go. Knight is out of control and
anyone who WASN'T trying to break Dean Smith's wins record would
have been fired already.
I liked this poll a lot. I think this one was our first poll
with a negative theme and it was fun. I would like to do more
negative polls but I need some ideas. Send them to me and I
promise not to get preachy on the commentaries for them.
The new poll will be "Most Toddlin' Town". The song says Chicago is a "toddlin' town",
but which town is really the leader in toddlieness? Thanks to
Stone Cold for this poll topic. Send your noms to me for the town
that you think leadis in toddlosity.
Comments and suggestions to lawdogusc@hotmail.com.
Poll
Topic: World's Second Biggest Douchebag (after Hugh Grant)
|
| Al
Gore |
 16.1% - (129 Votes) |
| O.J.
Simpson |
11.1% - (89 Votes) |
| Rush
Limbaugh |
8.8% - (71 Votes) |
| Jesse
Helms |
8.6% - (69 Votes) |
| George
W. Bush |
4.7% - (38 Votes) |
| David
Arquette |
4.5% - (36 Votes) |
| Lars
Ulrich (of Metallica) |
4.2% - (34 Votes) |
| Leonardo
DiCaprio |
4.1% - (33 Votes) |
| Bobby
Knight |
3.7% - (30 Votes) |
| Donald
Trump |
3.5% - (28 Votes) |
| Bobby
Brown |
3.3% - (27 Votes) |
| Bill
Gates |
3.2% - (26 Votes) |
| Steven
Seagal |
3% - (24 Votes) |
| Kid
Rock |
2.3% - (19 Votes) |
| John
Rocker |
2.2% - (18 Votes) |
| Fabio |
2.2% - (18 Votes) |
| Andrew
Dice Clay |
1.8% - (15 Votes) |
| Jean-Claude
Van Damme |
1.6% - (13 Votes) |
| Craig
Kilborn |
1.5% - (12 Votes) |
| Kato
Kaelin |
1.3% - (11 Votes) |
| Vanilla
Ice |
1.3% - (11 Votes) |
| Ricky
Martin |
1.1% - (9 Votes) |
| William
Shatner |
1.1% - (9 Votes) |
| Kevin
Costner |
0.8% - (7 Votes) |
| James
Cameron |
0.8% - (7 Votes) |
| Donald
Fehr |
0.6% - (5 Votes) |
| Charlie
Sheen |
0.3% - (3 Votes) |
| Billy
Joel |
0.3% - (3 Votes) |
| Eddie
Van Halen |
0.2% - (2 Votes) |
| Jason
Alexander |
0.2% - (2 Votes) |
| Mike
Lupica |
0.1% - (1 Votes) |
| Keanu
Reeves |
0.1% - (1 Votes) |
Total Votes: 800
|